The youth of today are totally unbearable

The youth of today are totally unbearable.

Unfortunately my child is full of all of the worst traits that sum up today's youths.  And I'm a fantastic parent, so I don't know why!  These are the things my child does on a daily basis.

He farts and burps aloud, without a seconds' though to say 'pardon me', or to even leave the room first.  And I have no idea where he gets it from.  Probably his Mother.

Now this may or may not be illegal.  But I know full well that he urinates everywhere.  And worse than that, he drops number 2's everywhere too.  He doesn't seem to care at all where he goes!  He has no respect for his surroundings whatsoever.

He spits.  Its totally disgusting.  He spits on the floor.  Often on other people too.  Sometimes he spits on himself and he doesn't even care to wipe it off.

On that note, he doesn't care about his appearance at all.  A typical boy I guess.  So it may not be the worst thing in the world.  I would like to have a boy who brushed his hair once in a while.  Brushed his teeth without me asking.

His behaviour is very boisterous.  He shouts for no reason.  He cries when he doesn't get what he wants the second he wants it.  He slaps, grabs, snatches and pulls you around.  He seems rather untamed.

He is also very lazy.  He sleeps so often that you could confuse him with a cat.  He never tidies up after himself.  He never makes his own meals.  He literally does nothing to contribute to the running of the house.

I mean, quite simply, he is the stereotypical youth of today.  Maybe one day he will change.  Maybe he will 'grow out' of this 'phase'.  Lets hope so.

If you could give me any tips on how to help him improve, I'd be really appreciative.  I mean he is only 9 months old, so we have another 17 years to go before we can offload him to university.  I dont think I can put up with this behaviour for such a long time!